Eddie Kingston Looks Back On His Journey Battling Depression And Breaking Through In Wrestling
Photo Credit: All Elite Wrestling
Eddie Kingston takes some time to reflect.
Eddie Kingston is scheduled to face CM Punk at AEW Full Gear in a match that will bring finality to over a decade of quiet tension that has festered within Eddie Kingston and before he steps into the ring with CM Punk at the Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota, he is reflecting on his journey in professional wrestling and his journey battling mental health issues.
In a new blog written by Kingston on Player’s Tribune, he reflects on how important it was for him to continue wrestling so that his nephew could one day know that his Uncle Eddie was a real wrestler.
When the match [against Cody Rhodes for the TNT Championship] aired on TV, something weird started happening with my phone. Twitter, social media, all that stuff — I still don’t really get how it works. It’s not my thing. So I saw all this shit start popping up on my phone with that little bird, but I was confused. Then I started getting all these text messages, and then someone from AEW texted me, “Eddie, you’re trending.”
And I said, “Trending? What is that? Does that mean I get paid more?”
She hit me back, “No, this is a big deal. They’re tweeting #SIGNEDDIEKINGSTON. It’s everywhere. There’s thousands of people. They’re begging AEW to sign you.”
It’s still so weird to me, even now, because I have such a hard time accepting love. I’m a hard-ass New York guy. I don’t trust it. I’m suspicious. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. So when all these random people were standing up for me, I was just numb. I was uncomfortable. I didn’t get it. Even when AEW called me and told me that they wanted to offer me a contract, it just didn’t sink in. It was too surreal for a guy like me.
It wasn’t until two weeks later — I was on vacation out in Montana with my girlfriend, and we were just sitting in the car, about to go inside her friend’s house, and I paused for a second and I turned to her and said, “Hey wait.”
She said, “What’s wrong?”
I said, “You know I’m signed right? I’m on national television. My nephew can watch his uncle on TV. Like, I’m really signed. I mean, 20 f*cking years in this. I was about to lose my house. I was about to….”
And I just started crying. This wave came over me, and I finally understood what was happening, and I started bawling right there in the car.
Kingston also reflected on having a panic attack after he wrestled Miro at AEW All Out after everyone was showing him love for a job well done.
I still have panic attacks.
As a matter of fact, I had one right after I fought Miro at the All Out PPV. My phone started blowing up with all these people telling me great job, just showing me love, and I just couldn’t handle it. I got overwhelmed. My chest got tight. The walls started closing in. I started to go numb. It felt like I was breathing through a straw. But I was able to calm myself down and slow my breathing, because I’d been strong enough to reach out and get professional help, and I know what to do now. I know how to live with my anxiety and depression. And I’m not afraid to talk about it. I don’t care what the old-school guys in the business have to say about it. It ain’t 1987 no more.
I know that I am not fixed. I am not perfect. I still have some really dark days, to be honest with you. But when I wake up in the morning, no matter how bad I feel, I know one thing for sure, and I’m damned proud of it….
I know that no matter how this all turns out from here, I can always look my nephew in the eye and tell him that his old, broken, beaten-up Uncle Eddie never quit.
WrestleZone will have live coverage of AEW Full Gear, where Eddie Kingston will wrestle CM Punk, on Saturday, November 13.