Allan “Kwee Wee” Funk Recalls Setting Up the ‘Best Spear Ever’ With Goldberg
Photo Credit: WWE
Recently, former professional wrestler and WCW superstar Allan “Kwee Wee” Funk spoke with The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast, where he spoke about working with Goldberg, Eric Bischoff’s return near the end of WCW’s run, and much more.
You can check out some highlights below:
On getting to work with Goldberg:
I wasn’t there when he first got there. I came in shortly after. But, I mean, I think everyone got along with Bill. But when it comes to business, he had a chip on his shoulder. If you were not in the arena, and you were with him somewhere else, he was a great guy. When it comes to the arena, man, he had a chip on his shoulder. I guess he earned it.
On Goldberg hitting him with the “Best Spear Ever”:
If you remember, the whole match was 30 f*cking seconds, so it was exactly how I told him from the very get go. This was all me that planned the match, which wasn’t much of a match, but it’s the only thing I could agree for him to do. But the problem with him was, and if you remember the match, he comes out and he slides under the bottom rope, and I said “I’m going to get on you Bill. I’m going to hit you, kick you, punch you, whatever.” And he’s like “I’m not selling sh*t, kid,” and I’m like ok, big f*cking deal. “I’m just going to hit you and punch you, so just stand up. No sell it, I don’t give a f*ck.” So, I said “after I punch you and kick you, I do a springboard sunset flip off the second rope, so I want you to step forward when you see me going to the rope. I’m gonna go in the air.” To get my timing down, I jumped up and he was like “dude you’re high as f*ck.” I said yeah. I said “now, I want you to f*cking come running and spear me in mid-air.” He’s like “holy f*ck, no f*cking way. I can’t do it.” I said “Bill, what do you mean you’re not going to do it?” Listen, I’m gonna work you and I know I’m not going to get sh*t in. I want people to remember this f*cking spear and I don’t care how bad I get hurt.”
Him and I were friends. It wasn’t like he didn’t like me. He said “I’m gonna hurt you, and I don’t want to hurt you.” I said “Bill, you trained with me down in the power plant, I’m not a p***y, don’t worry about that sh*t. If I break my f*cking ribs, guess what? They’ll heal.” I told him to f*cking bring it and not worry about hurting me. I don’t give a sh*t. So we did it a couple times and he comes running at me and kind of grabbed me out of the air and was like “Dude, this is gonna be awesome.” I said “no sh*t, it’s gonna be f*cking great. It’s going to be the best spear ever.” And then he said “no I can’t do it. I’m not doing it.” And I was like “God dang bro, you gotta f*cking do it.” And he goes, “you really wanna do it?” And I said, “Bill I’m not doing any other f*cking match. We’re doing it.” He said, “I’m sorry if I hurt you, I think I’m really gonna hurt you.” So, we did it, and after the match he f*cking popped huge. I go backstage. Doug Dillinger, head of security said “Bill wants you in his dressing room. He wants to see you right now.” Bill hugs me and was like holy f*ck bro, and he actually bruised my ribs. And I had to wrestle Mike Sanders on a PPV on Sunday, six days later, I got bruised ribs and I gotta wrestle on a pay per view after he just f*cking killed me. He told me “Bro, I owe you a favor. That was f*cking incredible. I can’t believe you did that for me.” He never [paid] on the favor, so I never got one back.
On Eric Bischoff’s return near the end of WCW:
When Eric Bischoff came in… if he would’ve bought that company, dude, I’d be a millionaire right now, no doubt in my mind. Eric was great. He was trying to take over the company. He was there, probably for the last month. He took over the show, he was the guy in charge. He was going through a transition of buying. It was gonna be great for me. Janie Engle was one of the lawyers for WCW. She came in the locker room one night and got me. Normally, that never happens. I’m still kinda young, still trying to get a spot on TV. Jaine said “Hey, Mr. Bischoff would like to see you in his office.” I’m thinking, this could be either really good or really bad. It had never happened to me before, I didn’t know what was going on.
So, I go to his office. I sit down, and he starts talking to me. “You do everything you’re supposed to do, you got a great body, you’re always on time, you do what you’re told. I’m gonna make you a superstar. You’re gonna be my next big guy, man. I’m gonna make you a lot of money, you’re gonna get a raise” and this and that. Of course, I’m all in, man, I’m all fired up. He did this for about three, four consecutive weeks. The first week he did it, though, he said “I need you to do a favor for me. I need you to put Rick Steiner over,” because at this time everybody thought that Rick Steiner was weak, a little bit. He said “you put Rick Steiner over, make him look like a million dollars, and this is gonna be the start of something good.” Of course, I’m gonna do what I’m told. So I put Steiner over that night real big, we had a pretty good match, and Bischoff came back afterwards, gave me a big hug, and said “Dude, that was awesome, that was exactly what I needed.” He knew that I was a team player and I was gonna do what he needed. Up until the time Vince bought the company, he (Eric) was high on me. I got nothing but good things to say about Eric.